Choosing the Right Mirror Affirmation: A Personal Journey
Written on
Understanding the Impact of Affirmations
I firmly believe in the transformative power of affirmations. Through years of engaging in cognitive behavioral therapy, I've learned that our self-talk significantly influences not only our mental state but also our physical well-being.
However, if chosen poorly, affirmations can have detrimental effects. Just as daily gratitude journaling can feel forced, overly optimistic affirmations may induce self-doubt and escalate feelings of disappointment. Instead of relying on excessively cheerful phrases, I gravitate toward affirmations grounded in reality. For instance, telling myself I am beautiful when I haven’t even brushed my hair can lead to frustration and anger. Phrases like "I am enough" sometimes provoke irritation because, on days when I feel inadequate, it amplifies my sadness. After all, someone who is truly "enough" wouldn’t struggle with depression.
Recognizing the power of my thoughts, especially in a depressed mindset, I choose to focus on achievable and realistic affirmations. I remind myself, "I am here," and "This is my life."
Utilizing the 3 Ps of Effective Affirmations
To create affirmations that resonate, I utilize the 3 Ps framework:
- Positive (or Neutral) — While many refer to these as positive affirmations, I prefer to think of them as neutral affirmations. Overly cheerful statements tend to provoke the negative voice in my mind, and I must navigate around it with care.
- Personal — An affirmation should feel tailored to you, like a favorite pair of sneakers. It won’t be effective if it doesn’t resonate personally.
- Present Tense — It’s crucial to focus on the present. Looking too far ahead or dwelling on the past opens the door for negative self-talk, whether it’s doubting your future success or rehashing past failures.
Finding My Path Forward
Currently, I’m focused on movement and progress. Utilizing mind mapping—similar to a method I adopted for defining my seasonal goals—I’ve discovered that most of my thoughts revolve around taking the next steps in my journey. Thus, I searched for affirmations that emphasize moving forward and rising up.
Affirmations can be vocalized or simply thought. They become ineffective if you feel self-conscious using them. I plan to place my morning affirmation on my mirror, ensuring I see it first thing. I intend to recite it throughout the day.
In moments of feeling overwhelmed, especially with parenting, I've used emergency affirmations like "I signed up for this." This phrase serves as a reminder that I am in control of my circumstances and can choose to engage differently, even if I genuinely love my life as it is.
The Role of Technology in Affirmations
You don’t need to turn into a guru to reap the benefits of affirmations. In the past, I wouldn’t have expressed them aloud due to embarrassment, but simply thinking them has proven effective. With repetition, I found myself smiling even during challenging moments, such as when my kids threw tantrums or I faced unexpected messes.
Our smart speaker, Alexa, has been a helpful ally in this journey. Although it can be annoying, it serves as a reminder for affirmations, often prompting both my kids and me with statements like, "You're amazing, and today will be wonderful," followed by a lighthearted joke.
You might wonder why "amazing" feels acceptable while "enough" doesn’t. For one, my children truly amaze me, and second, "amazing" captures the essence of wonder rather than perfection—it's about appreciating the small joys in life.
Crafting a Powerful Affirmation
The strongest affirmation is one you truly believe in and can consistently utilize. It should not make you feel inferior or pressured to achieve something beyond your current capacity. Instead, it should act as a shield against the harsh criticism of your inner voice—the one that insists everyone would be better off if you stayed in bed or that you’re trapped in a hopeless situation.
If your affirmation triggers negative thought patterns instead of providing protection, it’s time to reassess. I recommend journaling your thoughts when you use your affirmation, as this can provide insight.
My Personal Affirmation
In writing this, I can hear that inner critic telling me you might scoff at my affirmation, which is why it feels fitting to share it here: "I believe in where I am going." This affirmation resonates with me because it acknowledges my current state, allows for change, and doesn’t impose a rigid daily requirement.
What about you? Do you have a daily affirmation or go-to phrases for challenging moments? ("Serenity now" comes to mind, but perhaps that’s an example of an ineffective affirmation.)
In researching whether I’m alone in my negative experiences with affirmations, I discovered insights from Sherry Benton, who notes that about 70% of our internal dialogue tends to be negative. This negativity has historically served as a protective mechanism for our species. We may never reach a point of constant positivity, and judging our thoughts often exacerbates the situation.
For further exploration, check out my responses to prompts from Dr. Tracy Davis.
The first video showcases the "30 Day Mirror Work Dedication Practice," focusing on how to effectively use mirror work and affirmations in daily life.
In the second video, learn how to channel your best affirmations on National Compliment Your Mirror Day, encouraging a positive self-dialogue.