Understanding Your Deal Breakers

When it comes to your dating life, the ultimate decision-making power lies with you regarding what you will or won’t accept.

Recently, I encountered a discussion on Reddit (a platform I enjoy exploring) where someone was concerned about their girlfriend embarking on a three-week journey with her ex. They were unsure if their feelings of discomfort were justified. I must admit, this struck a chord with me. From my personal experiences, spending extended time away with someone of the opposite sex is a definite no for me. It has been a consistent deal breaker and was a significant factor in the end of my last relationship. Many of you are probably familiar with that story.

The Reddit user sought validation on whether their feelings were unreasonable. Responses varied: some emphasized the importance of trust, while others pointed out that circumstances matter. The critical takeaway from such discussions is this:

You alone have the authority to determine your relationship boundaries.

The opinions of others about your relationship dynamics hold no weight. People have different thresholds for what they can accept. Tolerating poor treatment in relationships is not a novel concept. We often believe that seeking public opinion will lead us to more rational decisions, but that is rarely the case.

If your non-negotiable is that your partner cannot travel alone with an ex, that’s entirely your prerogative. Ultimately, you are the one who has to navigate your relationship. The outsiders offering advice do not have a stake in your situation. Their sleep does not hinge on your relationship choices.

Expect to encounter individuals who may deem your standards excessive or unrealistic. While there may be some truth to that, remember: you possess the right to reevaluate your boundaries as life evolves. You are allowed to discover what you want through experiences, and that’s perfectly acceptable.

For instance, one of my personal deal breakers is that my partner must be employed. I cannot engage with someone who is not contributing to their own life. This standard may not align with everyone’s preferences, but it is essential for me. If a potential match takes issue with my criteria, they are free to seek someone whose standards differ.

If my deal breakers lead to a lifelong single status, that’s a consequence I’m willing to accept. It does not impact anyone else. We must stop overthinking how others might react to our relationship dilemmas.

Establish your deal breakers and stand firm in them. Understand your reasons for these boundaries. What might suit someone else may not be acceptable to you, and that’s completely fine.

If you choose to remain with someone who disregards your feelings when you express hurt, that decision is yours. Consulting others about what they would do in your situation will yield a range of responses. Ultimately, you are the architect of your desired relationship and life.

Consider following my journey for more insights into my blog diary and professional experiences.

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