Chapter 1: The Mask We Wear

Every day, I find myself repeating the same phrases:

"I'm okay."

"Everything's fine."

"That's alright."

But deep down, I know it's not true. The reality is that I’m struggling!

I believe many of us fall into this pattern. We shield those we care for from our own burdens, not wanting to add to their stress. I long for a world filled with joy and laughter, a time when I can feel giddy again.

Lately, it seems like no one really listens to me anymore. I'm expected to support others, to be their rock, while my own feelings go unnoticed. There was a time when people sought me out during their crises, hoping I could help them restore their balance.

Chapter 2: The Shift in Community Engagement

Recently, I’ve noticed that many people are so entangled in their own issues that they forget the value of giving and receiving support. Years ago, I played a significant role in establishing an animal rescue in my town—a venture that had been absent for years. However, after some internal strife, I was sidelined and my contributions faded from memory.

I also led my granddaughter's playschool through a difficult period, transforming it from the brink of closure to a thriving establishment. While my role in both organizations was crucial, I now take pride in their continued success, even from a distance.

Over time, however, I had to step back. Aging and declining health forced me to prioritize my family. Their increasing demands required my full attention, making it impossible to maintain my previous pace.

Chapter 3: Coping with Tragedy

Life dealt me some heavy blows. A friend faced unimaginable grief with the loss of her young daughter, while another sister passed away, leaving me to support my remaining siblings. I fought alongside friends who were battling their own battles, whether it was reclaiming their children from foster care or facing terminal illness.

In 2018, a near-fatal accident left me with severe injuries and a stark reminder of life’s fragility. Just days after my recovery began, I lost my sister, and I realized how heavy life could weigh.

Chapter 4: The Harsh Reality

People often inquire about my well-being out of mere politeness, secretly hoping for a simple "I'm fine." But the truth is, I don’t think any of us are truly okay. The world feels chaotic, and the idea of returning to a normal state seems like a distant fantasy.

We’ve witnessed too much darkness and cruelty, and it’s impossible to revert to our previous selves. Yet, I find strength in my resilience. I refuse to carry the burdens of others; it's theirs to bear, not mine.

I’ve decided to disconnect from social media and my phone, focusing instead on finding joy in the little things. It’s time to embrace the positives and leave the negativity behind.

Chapter 5: Conclusion

If this reflection resonated with you, I invite you to explore more of my series.

This video, titled "FLY BY THE SEAT OF YOUR PANTS | English Idioms," explores how we often navigate life without a clear plan, much like many of us do in our emotional struggles.

Another insightful video, "Flying By the Seat of Your Pants," captures the essence of living spontaneously amidst the chaos of life.

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