Chapter 1: The Quirky Nature of Writing Guidance

Recently, I found myself amidst a surge of questionable writing tips shared among a group of leisurely writers. Trust me, I’ve given my share of whimsical, misguided, or downright ridiculous writing suggestions over the years. There was a time when I took on the role of a high school English teacher, a period during which I had no business instructing anyone on anything. At just 23, I often think there should be a law preventing anyone under 30 from teaching adolescents — a time when they can reminisce with phrases like “back in my day” while pondering into the void, pretending to stroke an imaginary wizard's beard.

While I like to think that I’ve imparted some valuable writing insights, their true value is only recognized when they are earnestly pursued, sincerely shared, and, most importantly, beneficial to the recipient. This certainty still eludes me.

Let's differentiate "writing advice" from other concepts. Educating my students on the fundamental rules of grammar — rules I will gleefully overlook in this narrative — was not sharing advice. It was merely passing on the standardized, accepted norms of written communication relevant to a specific time, place, and social context. Some may adhere to these rules religiously, while others may simply disregard them.

In the academic realm, I emphasized that we utilized these rules for practical purposes — to secure jobs, craft captivating college admission essays, and impress those who mattered for as long as their opinions held weight. Yet, we also embraced these conventions, because bending them for creative purposes was exhilarating. Mastering the fundamentals is essential before you can reinvent them.

When I edit another writer's work, I may offer advice, but I might also provide notes. Notes serve as suggestions, sometimes directives, aimed at enhancing a piece to align with specific writing goals. It’s akin to contrasting the idea that “all writers should start their work at dawn” with “it might enhance the narrative to introduce Caleb in the opening paragraph.”

I am well-acquainted with receiving notes from editors on my essays and books, as well as from producers regarding my scripts. Often, they’ll start with “this is just a suggestion,” distinguishing these notes from more critical feedback deemed essential for refining the work. Sometimes, the assertion that it’s merely a suggestion is sincere; other times, it’s a veiled directive. Confused? Welcome to the whimsical world of writing!

There's a wealth of wisdom to be discovered from experienced writers, whether they are celebrated authors, renowned masters, or lesser-known artisans whose work resonates with you. Master Class has been a delightful resource for me. Judy Blume and Shonda Rhimes’ classes have been pure joy, and Neil Gaiman’s is on my watchlist. The opportunity to learn from those whose work I admire is truly exhilarating.

Exploring the various working habits of different artists is a fascinating journey. Mason Currey’s books on the daily routines of creatives have been enlightening. He has compiled a treasure trove of insights on how imaginative minds structure their days, without pushing one method over another — simply laying it out for your enjoyment or enlightenment.

The anecdotes of legendary writers and their peculiar habits are captivating. Some were night owls, while others rose early, churning out manuscripts before tending to their fields. Elizabeth Bishop was known for her stimulating adventures, possibly fueling the emotions in her evocative poem about a fish. The thought of Robert Frost experimenting with stimulants, as suggested by Bishop, brings a grin to my face, even though it remains a whimsical "what-if."

“In the sober realm, cold brew coffee is my only vice, my celestial demon. Oh, how I adore it.”

Learning from those who candidly share their processes is enlightening. Yet, when someone labels themselves a “writing guru,” a title rarely embraced by my favorite writers, my eyes involuntarily roll, and I drift away. Even if that means bumping into a wall, it’s a more enjoyable pastime than being lectured on the 'one true way' to unlock creativity.

A classic sign of a pretentious guru is their tendency to use war metaphors to describe the act of sitting and typing away thoughts. The ones who rave about biohacking while endorsing Joe Rogan’s podcast, all while grappling with the effects of butter coffee. Spare me the war stories! Your dramatic narrations of the ‘battlefield of creativity’ are utterly tiresome. (Not to mention, many have a supportive spouse handling finances or childcare while they wax poetic about art and conflict.)

My writing journey has been a mixed bag — some pieces shine, others are mediocre, and some are downright dreadful. Reflecting on my work can feel like a tug-of-war between pride and embarrassment, but revisiting a published book is rare for me. Much like those who wince at the sound of their own voice or actors who can’t bear to watch their performances, my books are steeped in a specific phase of my life, making them poignant relics of the past.

However, the beauty of writing lies in the conversations it ignites and the diverse interpretations it fosters, which is why I enjoy reading and editing the works of others.

I don't consider myself a sage in this field. I’ve simply uncovered what resonates with me, and I love sharing that with others. Here’s a humble offering of non-expert writing advice, primarily for myself. If it resonates with you, wonderful! If not, that’s the unpredictable nature of writing guidance.

Think of this as a self-encouragement session in the mirror — a bit awkward yet perhaps with a touch of relatable wisdom.

Prioritize your mental, physical, and emotional well-being.

The pursuit of great writing should never compromise your health. I often urge aspiring authors to seek therapeutic support, especially when navigating the emotional rollercoaster of crafting a memoir.

Writers experience life in layers — living through events, revisiting them in writing, and reliving them with each read. This might explain why I seldom enjoy rereading my books, as they carry the weight of memories, both joyful and painful, from the writing and publication journey.

There are fond memories, like the whimsical cakes my mom crafted to resemble my memoir, and the peculiar research about a local Chili’s for my novel "D.C. Trip." Yet, there are also tough memories, like the stress-relieving drinking sessions while writing my first novel, "Great," or navigating a heart-wrenching breakup during the writing of "Real Artists Have Day Jobs." The writing may encompass moments of grace and clumsiness, reflecting the emotional landscape of the time.

Having books in the world is a joy, and I aspire to contribute many more. Yet, they harbor ghosts of the past, some friendly, others not so much.

Memoirs from individuals who’ve sailed smoothly through life rarely captivate readers. We crave joy, pain, and chaos. Memoirists often tread a fine line, risking emotional turmoil, which is why, in my humble opinion, having a counselor or therapist on speed dial is wise.

Also, stay hydrated if clean water is a blessing you can access. Remember to stand up and stretch occasionally.

Continue to write, as long as it doesn’t wreak havoc in your life. If writing becomes a source of distress, it might be time to explore other avenues. Writing, despite its allure, is a demanding, tedious, and often stressful endeavor. It may not be your cup of tea, and that’s perfectly okay. Perhaps painting mediocre canvases or discovering a niche dance form from a quaint hill tribe is where your true passion lies. Embrace it! Life is fleeting yet long, and self-inflicted anguish to prove an artistic point is futile.

That’s about it. Move forward and write if your heart calls for it. Seek a nurturing, insightful mentor whose approach aligns with yours if you need support. Sidestep the harsh, unsolicited advice unless that’s your peculiar cup of tea — in which case, enjoy!

Now, I'm off to create an atrocious painting. It’ll be a monstrosity, and I’m going to cherish every moment of it. Take care!

Chapter 2: Learning from the Masters

"The Most Misunderstood Writing Advice" - This video explores common misconceptions surrounding writing guidance, highlighting how often advice can be misinterpreted or misapplied.

"Wild Writing with Laurie Wagner" - In this engaging video, Laurie Wagner shares her insights on tapping into creativity and the wild, unpredictable nature of writing.