Airing the Hidden Struggles

I found myself grappling with emotions as I poured my heart out, struggling to articulate my thoughts. Completing that piece brought me relief and healing, and I felt a sense of accomplishment. However, upon publication, I sensed that the deeply personal nature of my writing hinted at something I hadn’t fully conveyed.

After revisiting my words multiple times, I realized that while every statement resonated with truth, a critical context was missing—one that is essential for anyone engaged in discussions about social injustice, activism, gender disparity, racism, and diversity. This understanding is crucial for anyone striving for a peaceful existence and seeking to be empathetic towards others from diverse backgrounds.

If you identify with this desire for understanding, continue reading.

I have always been vocal about the injustices that trouble me, rejecting the notion of “this is how it is, just accept it.” Society is shaped by the collective thoughts, habits, beliefs, and behaviors of its people. In Pakistan, such views are often met with resistance.

Acknowledging that we contribute to the societal structure implies accountability for its shortcomings, which can lead to uncomfortable discussions about what is not working and what should change. This can feel overwhelming—it's easier to dismiss these thoughts and indulge in complaints over a cup of tea, resigning ourselves to the status quo.

I digress—let's reset.

Engaging with these issues is a challenging endeavor, especially when writing non-fiction, as it forces me to confront harsh realities without the protective layers of fiction. In fiction, I can weave social issues into narratives that maintain empathy for characters, reminding me of our shared humanity.

Conversely, writing about real-world issues can evoke feelings of betrayal, particularly when discussing the failings of my own country. When conversing with fellow Pakistanis, there’s an unspoken understanding that we are focusing on one aspect of a larger picture—our shared experiences allow us to navigate these difficult conversations without the need for constant justification.

But how can we extend this comfort to discussions with people outside our cultural or national circles?

I am not advocating for a utopian vision where we all share an inclusive understanding of every culture. Instead, I propose a simpler approach: whenever someone speaks about their country’s social or political challenges, assume that there is much more to their story than just the issues being highlighted.

Personal Upbringing vs. Social Environment

What does this distinction mean?

It signifies that I was raised in a loving middle-class family in a developing country. While I experienced certain privileges, I also faced barriers and challenges. The social issues I recognized as I matured impacted my personal life but didn’t fully encapsulate my childhood.

My upbringing reflects both my family's individuality and the societal influences that shaped us. My parents, like all families, are products of their environment, yet they also evolve beyond traditional norms.

As a woman in Pakistan, I have my unique experiences. I remember the warmth of home videos my mother recorded, the silly jokes from my father, the playful squabbles over the remote with my siblings, and the cherished moments with my grandfather. These personal memories coexist with the broader social issues I have come to understand.

Recognizing that my personal upbringing differs from my social one is crucial.

The Danger of "Us vs. Them"

This distinction is vital to counteract a harmful notion that often arises when discussing global social problems: the idea that “the problem is them.”

This divisive mindset fosters a perception of an “other” that is entirely different from “us.” While geography can influence culture, it does not determine the inherent nature of people.

Regardless of their location, most people are simply navigating their lives, influenced by their immediate surroundings and the media. The reality is that we all share common flaws and aspirations.

I invite you to read my article "What I Learned Living in 3 Very Different Countries" for a deeper exploration of this theme.

In Conclusion

It is essential for us to frequently remind ourselves that systemic issues arise from our collective behaviors and thoughts. These issues are not fixed; they can be transformed through introspection and conversation.

When we learn about international issues, it’s crucial to view them through the lens of human imperfection rather than as threats or embodiments of evil. Evil is not confined to any one location; it exists everywhere. However, most individuals are not malevolent—they are simply flawed human beings striving to navigate their existence.

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