Pity Party: A Solo Affair

On this particular occasion, I felt deeply hurt because my two closest friends, who were like family to me, seemed to be distancing themselves. We had spent countless formative years together and were known as a close-knit trio. At that moment, Kiara, who I previously wrote about in "My Best Friend Was Murdered and No One Cared," was staying with her sister Kayla and their family just a short drive away. Despite my attempts to arrange gatherings, they never seemed enthusiastic, leaving me feeling unloved and confused.

Determined to get to the bottom of my feelings, I invited them over, masking my true emotions. When they arrived, I jumped straight into the conversation, convinced that I was right and that they would eventually see things my way.

Sympathy. Validation. Understanding.

"I feel extremely hurt by how you both seem to be avoiding me," I began, tears welling up in my eyes. "We used to be inseparable, and now I feel excluded. You're the sisters I chose, and I miss you. Why don't you want to spend time with me anymore?" I searched Kiara's face for a sign of remorse, but found none.

Seeking the Truth

Kayla, known for her straightforwardness, seemed deep in thought. I sensed she was contemplating whether to express her true feelings. "Well? Please share what's on your mind," I urged, feeling a mixture of curiosity and dread.

"The Truth Will Set You Free… But First, It Will Piss You Off." — Gloria Steinem

After a shared glance with Kiara, Kayla took a deep breath. Her next words struck me like a lightning bolt. "Layla, we love you, but being around you has become challenging. Your negativity affects us, and if you continue this way, you risk pushing everyone away."

In that moment, I was blindsided by the honesty of her words. My instinct was to react angrily, but something held me back. I realized that Kayla was genuinely saddened to share this with me.

The Turning Point

I left the conversation feeling furious but decided to reflect on what had just been said. For the next three days, I ruminated on it, initially viewing their words as an unjust attack. How could they betray me like this after all we had been through?

Mutiny. Betrayal. Treachery.

I was filled with anger, convinced they were wrong. But when I began to genuinely question their words, a realization dawned on me. The truth of their statements became undeniable. Everything I knew about them told me they wouldn't say such things unless they held some truth.

"You Can’t Live a Positive Life With a Negative Mind." — Joyce Meyer

The reality was stark: my negativity was driving away those I cared about. This self-destructive cycle of loneliness and sadness was only amplifying my issues. I wanted to be someone people looked forward to seeing, not someone they dreaded encountering.

A Commitment to Change

I had always claimed to be a work in progress, but now it was time to put in the effort. I vowed to change my thought patterns and hold myself accountable for my actions. I was determined to embrace self-awareness, admit my faults, and seek forgiveness rather than stubbornly standing my ground on trivial matters.

"There is no try—only do, or do not." — Yoda

I began actively countering negative thoughts and replacing them with positivity. Instead of defensively denying my faults, I took a moment to reflect on my actions.

Over time, being positive transformed from a chore into my default state. To this day, I strive to uphold these lessons, and they have truly made me a happier person. But change required a step forward, so I decided to visit Kayla and Kiara without any prior notice.

Accountability. Appreciation. Humility.

When I knocked on their door, I saw a flicker of apprehension in their eyes. I asked if we could talk, and we settled in the living room. Taking a deep breath, I dove right in.

"I’m sorry. I was wrong. I truly understand your feelings now. I want to improve, because I don't want to lose my best friends. You mean everything to me. Will you give me a chance to change?"

They smiled, and Kiara playfully responded, "Duh, stupid," before they both enveloped me in a warm embrace.

And they did, they genuinely did.

Thank you for taking the time to read my journey. The support from my fellow Mediums means the world to me! If you found value in this article, consider following or sharing it with others.

So Much LOVE,

-Layla