# Moving Beyond Tribalism: Embracing Our Shared Humanity
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Chapter 1: The Roots of Tribalism
Tribalism emerges from our inherent fear of those who are different from us. In a time characterized by scientific advancements, wealth, and global interconnectivity, it’s crucial to move past this outdated and perilous mindset.
Beyond Tribes © Anthony Fieldman 2022
Throughout my life, I have often felt uneasy being labeled as part of any specific group. Instead, I have discovered a profound beauty in embracing diversity, constantly drawn to those who differ from me. This admiration for human variety fills me with wonder.
We easily celebrate the diversity found in nature—plants, animals, landscapes, and cuisines—often traveling the globe to seek out new experiences. Upon our return, we share tales of our adventures, reflecting on how they have enriched our lives.
However, when it comes to human diversity, many of us exhibit distrust and fear, often retreating or reacting aggressively when faced with differences. Why do we so often weaponize our distinctions instead of celebrating them?
The contrast between my appreciation for diversity and the prevalent tribal mindset only deepens my aversion to tribalism. Consequently, I have grown increasingly resistant to rigid identities, choosing instead to focus on what unites us rather than what separates us.
One pressing question remains: Why is open inclusivity so rare? Why does tribalism—expressed violently through racism, nationalism, and other forms of division—seem to dominate even in relatively safe and prosperous environments?
This contradiction is striking.
While I understand the survival instincts that prevailed in earlier human societies, in our current age of relative abundance, where survival often equates to keeping up with societal expectations rather than avoiding danger, tribalism appears outdated and illogical.
What, then, triggers our tribal instincts? And why do individuals cling to the notion of tribal safety when real threats are scarce? If our reasoning is that one group understands us while “outsiders” do not, isn’t that a failure in communication rather than an inherent truth of our differences?
Can we not build bridges between people through curiosity, empathy, and a recognition of our shared humanity? This realization suggests that a lack of these qualities, not immutable differences, lies at the heart of our struggles with tribalism. With these tools, tribalism could easily fade into history.
“Here, Quetzalcoatl. Have another 200 sacrifices. Thanks for making rain.”
Indeed, we possess the knowledge, social structures, and abundance necessary to thrive—yet many still cling to outdated tribal mindsets, often without just cause. The crises that fuel modern tribalism are largely fabricated, stemming from laziness, unfounded fears, and simplistic thinking.
All that stands in our way of evolving beyond tribalism are optimism, energy, experience, and empathy. It’s time for a change.
Life Beyond Tribalism
Some individuals do not fall into the “us vs. them” mentality. I often wonder what experiences enable certain people to bridge differences rather than confront them.
Certainly, upbringing plays a significant role. Our initial educators—our family—impart lessons about safety and boundaries. Parents have a crucial responsibility to teach children that the world is fundamentally safe, that differences should be celebrated, and that deep similarities exist across all humanity.
However, mere teaching is not enough; consistent exposure to diverse experiences is essential. Our normalcy becomes our children's normalcy, as evidenced by my own teenagers.
As children grow, peer groups increasingly shape their identities. During adolescence, the influence of friends often overshadows parental guidance, leading to the formation of new social tribes. Unfortunately, many young people learn to suppress their differences instead of embracing them.
The pressure to conform to group norms is a tragic waste of potential. In social situations, our choices matter most, and the genuine motivations behind those choices are as unique as the individuals who make them.
My mother, the wisest and most empathetic person I know, often said, “We are the sum of the five people with whom we spend the most time.”
This highlights the profound impact that close relationships have on our mindsets. The ideals of our closest companions shape our perceptions of normalcy and influence our views on inclusivity and diversity.
As this dynamic intensifies into adulthood, the walls that we build around our identities become increasingly rigid. The more we reinforce tribal narratives, the harder it becomes to envision alternative perspectives.
I’ve noticed that many people become set in their ways as they age, hardening rather than broadening their identities, becoming caricatures of their former selves. Yet, the identities we adopt and our judgments of “friend or foe” are ultimately constructs we choose to accept.
Biology vs. Social Constructs
When we examine ourselves through a scientific lens, we discover that we share 99.9% of our DNA. Our superficial differences are mere variations of biology. The true differentiators are the social narratives we create.
Our differences, therefore, become even more trivial, as they exist solely because we have chosen to give them significance. Sadly, many of us engage in conflict over these fabricated stories, believing they reflect truths that guide our lives.
Tales of deities, nations, class, and wealth exist only because a collective has chosen to align with a particular narrative. Such clubs (or tribes) often thrive on exclusion, differentiation, and rules that perpetuate division.
As Groucho Marx famously said, “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”
Clubs tend to divide us rather than unite us, and this division often leads to serious consequences, including persecution, war, and genocide. More insidious forms of tribalism, like exclusion and trolling, may not be as dramatic but are equally damaging.
None of these actions are justified by facts; all are harmful, robbing us of the opportunity to appreciate the beauty of human diversity and the lessons it offers.
The intrinsic desire to belong often leads us to inflict harm on others and to accept narratives that cause deep-rooted damage.
So What Now?
The solution, if one exists, is clear: act in ways that dismantle barriers, bridge differences, and stand firmly against all forms of bigotry.
While many support the concept of inclusion, the challenge lies in translating that belief into action. If we truly embraced these principles, we would witness a significant reduction in conflict, inequality, and exclusion.
The key is to actively seek out the company of those who differ from us—socially, professionally, in learning environments, and even in romantic relationships. The more we encounter “the other,” the more we weaken the illusion of difference.
Exposure to diversity normalizes these experiences, fostering understanding and acceptance. Unfortunately, we often hesitate to explore this diversity due to fears of rejection or self-doubt.
Early Lessons
My mother instilled in me a commitment to inclusivity from a young age. She chose to discuss people based on their character, avoiding superficial labels.
This approach left me unaware of perceived differences among friends. I vividly recall a note from a teenage friend—who struggled with his identity—expressing gratitude for my friendship. The heartbreak I felt upon reading his words stemmed from his sense of isolation.
Years later, my grandmother, concerned about my friendships, asked my mother, “Doesn’t Anthony have any white friends?” The irony was that I had many friends; I simply didn’t categorize them that way.
I understand that differences do exist, and I actively seek them out. However, I view cultural variations and lifestyles as beautiful aspects of human diversity, deserving of exploration and appreciation.
Not all differences warrant celebration; this perspective applies only to values and practices that unite rather than divide. Doctrines of hate have no place in a world striving for unity.
Connection © Anthony Fieldman 2022
Final Thoughts
To overcome tribalism, we must align our actions with the principles of inclusivity—actively seek out diversity, teach our families and peers to do the same, and celebrate the unique qualities of every individual.
We need not deny our differences to foster connection; we can embrace our shared humanity while acknowledging the superficial traits that often separate us.
Every person experiences a spectrum of emotions and seeks love, belonging, and purpose. We all navigate challenges and make choices, each of which shapes our lives and those of others.
Our choices create the world around us. Let us strive to make choices that promote unity and understanding.
The first video, "Have We Evolved Beyond Tribalism?" delves into the complexities of our social identities and the need for transcending tribal boundaries in today's world.
The second video, "Online Conversation | Hope Beyond Political Tribalism," explores conversations around political divisions and the hope for a more inclusive society.