Embracing Mindfulness: Insights from a Plum Village Retreat
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Chapter 1: The Essence of Mindfulness
"Mindfulness allows you to return to the present. Each time you recognize a moment of happiness, joy follows." — Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh
In November 2023, I participated in a week-long retreat at Plum Village, nestled in the serene, mist-covered mountains of Malaysia. Founded by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, Plum Village serves as a hub for mindfulness practice.
The retreat was guided by dedicated Buddhist monastics who embodied mindfulness in every action. Their calm, attentive, and joyful presence infused every aspect of the retreat—from Dharma discussions to sharing circles and even musical performances.
A meditation instructor once shared with me, "mindfulness is caught, not taught." Throughout the retreat, I truly absorbed the essence of mindfulness from these monastic teachers.
Entering the retreat, I was overwhelmed by anxiety stemming from personal challenges. By the end, however, I felt a profound sense of peace and stability, equipped to tackle my life’s hurdles.
Here are five significant lessons I learned from the experience:
Section 1.1: Living Mindfully
The first revelation was that mindfulness transcends mere meditation; it encompasses an entire lifestyle. I previously believed that dedicating 15 minutes each morning to meditation would suffice for my well-being.
In truth, I had been practicing mindfulness in those brief moments while rushing through the rest of my day. My daily behavior often contradicted my meditation practice.
Mindfulness involves fully engaging with the present moment without judgment. It’s about cultivating awareness and clarity throughout the day, not just on a meditation cushion.
During the retreat, we approached every activity mindfully—eating, walking, even washing dishes. Signs in the bathrooms reminded us that even mundane tasks could be opportunities for mindfulness.
Throughout the day, a bell would sound, signaling a moment of silence, prompting us to pause whatever we were doing. This was a powerful way to learn to respond mindfully to external cues.
How we approach one aspect of life reflects our approach to everything else. To truly live mindfully, we must incorporate it into every facet of our lives—our work, relationships, conversations, and daily routines.
Choosing to live mindfully means embracing the present moment, regardless of our feelings about it. This choice brings a unique sense of peace.
Section 1.2: Nurturing Positive Seeds
Our minds resemble gardens filled with various seeds—some nurturing positive qualities like love, compassion, and joy, while others breed negativity such as anger, greed, and ignorance.
Just as we care for our physical bodies, we must tend to our minds by nurturing positive seeds. The seeds we choose to water shape our perceptions and experiences.
When we cultivate love and joy, we will notice these qualities in our surroundings. Conversely, if we water seeds of anger and hatred, we will see more of those traits in our lives.
One cherished activity during the retreat was singing together. We sang uplifting songs like "Happiness Is Here and Now" and "Peace is Every Step." Initially, I would have found this somewhat silly, but I now recognize it as a powerful method for nurturing positive seeds in our minds.
While we cannot control external events, we have the power to decide which mental seeds we wish to cultivate. This is true empowerment.
The first video, titled "(Class #18) Free will is possible thanks to the Three Trainings," delves into how mindfulness practices can empower personal choice and freedom.
Subsection 1.2.1: The Power of Speech and Listening
"You practice deep listening to alleviate suffering in yourself and others. This form of listening is compassionate listening, aimed solely at relieving distress." — Thich Nhat Hanh
During the retreat, we learned the importance of loving speech and deep listening. Loving speech involves communicating with kindness and compassion, while deep listening means being fully present and attentive, without judgment or the impulse to offer solutions.
People desire to feel heard and validated. By offering deep listening, we extend acceptance, which is a powerful form of support.
However, this practice cannot be selective. As a coach, I strive to listen deeply to my clients, yet I often find myself falling into judgment and anger in personal relationships.
It's especially challenging to practice with those closest to us, where emotions can run high. Therefore, we must first practice loving speech and deep listening with ourselves.
The most frequent conversation we engage in daily is with ourselves. If we speak negatively to ourselves, we are likely to do the same with others. Just like the seeds we water, we cannot nurture positive interactions with others if we consistently nourish negativity within ourselves.
When communicating with others, we should ask ourselves:
- Am I being kind to myself or the other person?
- Am I truly striving to understand this person, or am I filtering their words?
- Is my approach rooted in compassion or judgment?
Section 1.3: Embracing Impermanence
A fundamental concept in Buddhism is 'impermanence'—the understanding that everything changes and nothing lasts forever. This applies not only to our physical bodies and external circumstances but also to our emotions, thoughts, and feelings.
While the idea of impermanence can evoke fear, especially concerning death, it can also be liberating. Why stress over trivial matters when life is fleeting? Why flee from fears when they are merely temporary experiences?
A monastic once told me that even our self-perceptions are impermanent. When I expressed my desire to align more with my authentic self, the monk responded with a profound observation: "The notion of an authentic self is also impermanent."
This struck a chord. Although I understood the concept of impermanence, I still clung to the belief in a fixed 'authentic self.' But what if all parts of me are valid, without needing to be categorized as authentic or inauthentic? The ego seeks to label; the soul embraces all. Imagine the freedom of living without rigid labels.
Section 1.4: The Importance of Community
"The next Buddha will be a Sangha." — Thich Nhat Hanh
In Buddhism, practitioners seek refuge in three jewels: the Buddha, the Dharma (teachings), and the Sangha (community). Thich Nhat Hanh emphasized that the Sangha holds particular importance, suggesting that community is integral to our spiritual journey.
Going through any journey alone can be challenging. Practicing mindfulness in a fast-paced world is even more difficult without a supportive community.
After attending a yoga and meditation retreat last year, I found peace but struggled to maintain it upon returning to daily life, primarily due to the absence of a like-minded community.
This retreat differed significantly. Plum Village is supported by an active global community of practitioners and monastics, including a local community in Singapore where I reside. I realized I could continue my mindfulness practice with others even after the retreat.
If you can find a community—whether a meditation group or just a few friends—embrace it. Walking alongside others can profoundly impact your journey. As the saying goes, "No man is an island."
At the retreat's conclusion, those interested were introduced to the Five Mindfulness Trainings, which serve as ethical guidelines for mindful living. The monastics reminded us that perfection isn’t the goal; intention is what matters.
I’m far from perfect in applying the lessons learned, but my intention remains clear: to notice when I stray, readjust, and rise again with grace and compassion.
If you wish to live more mindfully, start with simple intentions:
- Read your next article with mindfulness.
- Eat your next meal mindfully.
- Practice loving speech and deep listening in your next conversation.
- Remember the nature of impermanence when faced with challenging emotions.
Repeat these intentions, and over time, you will strengthen your mindfulness practice, inviting greater joy and peace into your life.
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The second video, titled "(Class #14) Mindfulness, Concentration and Insight Include Each Other," explores how these essential practices are interconnected and vital for personal growth.