Chapter 1: The Lessons We Learn

In today's world, many of us seem to have a degree from the "Throwing a Fit" Academy, don't we? It's a unique form of education that teaches us some rather questionable lessons about interpersonal relationships.

When I first entered this academy, I quickly grasped the foundational principles: Treat others as you wish to be treated. If someone wrongs you, return the favor. Stand your ground. And when uncertain, abandon the first rule in favor of the latter two.

The day eventually came when we graduated, equipped with skills to throw fits anywhere, anytime, for any reason. Bravo to us!

Yet, as time went on, the rules began to shift in ways I couldn’t quite grasp. The initial principle remained somewhat constant, but the others seemed inadequate in various situations. To cope with this confusion, I devised some makeshift rules:

If given a chance to be offended, seize it! Never apologize. And if you feel compelled to apologize, do it immediately—waiting even a moment can render your apology meaningless.

While these adaptations seemed to bolster my ability to throw an effective fit, they were hardly foolproof.

What’s going on here?

I propose that most of these self-imposed rules are misleading. They are obstacles to personal growth that must be addressed.

Let’s focus on the assumption that it’s too late to apologize if you wait too long after your outburst. Why does this notion hold any merit? I can identify two reasons:

1. If you wait, the person you offended has had time to share your misbehavior with others. Fair point.
2. The longer you delay, the more time they have had to view you negatively. Again, that’s valid.

However, from a more rational perspective, it is never too late to offer an apology.

“But what if I haven’t spoken to them in years?” you may ask.

So what? Your ability to communicate hasn’t vanished.

“But what if they dislike me, and I can’t foresee a positive outcome?”

That’s a different scenario. Let’s analyze it in two parts:

1. “They dislike me.” You may or may not have done something to merit that feeling, but ultimately, it’s not your concern. Their opinion isn’t the goal of your apology.
2. “I can’t envision a positive outcome.” It might turn out well or it might not. However, you enhance the chances of a favorable outcome by envisioning a positive scenario. Still, remember, the main aim is to find peace within yourself.

There is, of course, a caveat to this mindset. If the person you wish to apologize to poses a threat to you or your loved ones, consider your options carefully. Could they make your life miserable? Inflict harm? Perhaps think about this alternative: compose a heartfelt letter of apology but don't send it. Instead, perform a ritual—burn it, bury it, shred it, or mail it to yourself.

Experiencing the thrill of throwing a fit can be euphoric, but that feeling can fade, leading to regret. In those moments, remember that you have choices. You can invite serenity into your life through either a tangible or symbolic apology.

Reflect on who you need to apologize to. Is there anyone on your list whom you think has been wronged by you, even if it feels like too much time has elapsed? This list might even include those who have passed if there are unresolved issues. I encourage you to revisit these past grievances and take that crucial step toward seeking forgiveness. You’ll likely find it rewarding.

If you enjoyed this piece, you might find other writings of mine interesting as well:

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Chapter 2: The Importance of Timing

In the video "Say Sorry Before It's Too Late | Sunday Motivation | Dr. Sandeep Patil," the speaker emphasizes the urgency of making amends. He discusses how procrastination in offering apologies can lead to missed opportunities for healing and reconciliation.

Chapter 3: Reflections on Regret

The video "BOBBY GOLDSBORO- 'IT'S TOO LATE' (Re-Recorded In Stereo+LYRICS)" serves as a poignant reminder of the feelings of regret that can accompany unresolved conflicts. The song highlights the emotional weight of waiting too long to express one’s feelings.