The Misconceptions About Their Time

In my book, Singled Out, I included chapter headings that highlighted common misconceptions surrounding single individuals. One such heading read, "Like a child, you are self-centered and immature, and your time is of no value since you have nothing to do but play." Many participants in Wilkinson's research echoed similar sentiments, noting that their coworkers with families often dismissed their time outside of work as merely leisurely.

Contrary to these assumptions, many single individuals believe their personal time is just as significant as anyone else's. Colleagues frequently failed to recognize that those who live alone are solely responsible for all domestic tasks and expenses.

Friendships and Personal Development

For many childless singles, friendships hold immense value, necessitating time and effort to nurture. Additionally, those interested in romantic partnerships also seek the time needed to find a significant other.

The personal pursuits outside of work that these individuals cherish include personal and professional growth, furthering education, spending quality time with friends and family, and maintaining fitness. Their leisure time is not merely for enjoyment; it encompasses a broader range of meaningful activities. Research shows that single individuals often take on a significant caregiving role for aging parents and other relatives, a responsibility that is frequently overlooked.

Caregiving Responsibilities and Recognition

As Mary Anne Case has noted, single individuals without children may face demanding and expensive caregiving obligations, which often go unrecognized or dismissed as unimportant by others.

Even when their coupled coworkers acknowledge that single employees have personal commitments, these pursuits are often undervalued. When family-oriented colleagues request flexible schedules or early departures, their reasons are often seen as more valid, leaving single professionals hesitant to decline requests to extend their work hours.

Acknowledging Vulnerabilities

During times of layoffs, coupled coworkers might say things like, "It's easy for you; you're single; you can relocate anywhere." However, for those living alone, losing a job presents significant challenges, as they lack a partner to share financial responsibilities.

The assumption that single workers can readily move is also misleading. Many have invested considerable time in building valued friendships that provide emotional support. Leaving these connections behind can be difficult, and many are also deeply attached to their residences and current jobs.

A Unique Perspective on Work

Through my research in Single at Heart, I found that those who embrace being single often prioritize fulfilling work over high-paying positions when faced with the choice. Like the participants in Wilkinson's study, many single individuals are passionate about their jobs.

I question the concept of "work-life balance," as work is an integral part of life, not a separate entity. Nonetheless, those of us who identify as single at heart, like everyone else, desire equal opportunities to engage in personal interests outside of work, while managing everyday responsibilities.

Fair Treatment and Opportunities

Furthermore, we seek these opportunities as a fundamental right rather than needing to justify our requests for fair treatment. A key theme in Single at Heart is that single life is not merely an acceptable alternative to coupled life; it can be richer and more fulfilling. We wish to avoid defending our single status or our desire for equitable access to time and opportunities outside of work.

My latest book, Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life, is now widely available. It was a heartfelt project, and I encourage you to read, enjoy, and recommend it. To delve deeper, explore a collection of articles on various topics related to single living. Additionally, you can watch my TEDx talk, "What No One Ever Told You About People Who Are Single." For more insights, visit my website and discover my other writings on Medium.

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